An ideal Indian woman - ek Adarsh Bhartiya Nari

This post has originally been my comment on Indian Home Maker (IHM)'s blog. Her post was in reply to some sexist poem shared in an anti-muslim and anti-congress page on Facebook called Thalua club. The Facebook fan page appears as stupid as the name. Anyway, on IHM's request, I'm re-posting my comments there on her blog post as a separate post here. You can see the original poem as well as IHM's reply to it through the above links. On IHM's post, you can also see the English translation of the poem.


Here, the lines of the original poem are in slightly grey colour while my replies are in black. Please don't mind grammatical errors in Hindi as it's not my area of strength.

Ideal Indian woman (??)

सर पे सिंदूर का “फैशन” नहीं है,

सिन्दूर करने या नही करने से क्या फरक पडेगा… मुझे बताओ…

गले मे मंगलसूत्र का “टेंशन” नहीं है !

आदमी ने तो मंगलसुत्र कभी पह्ना ही नही हैं तो क्या आदमी कभी आदर्श था ही नही और हैं भी नही?

माथे पे बिंदी लगाना “आउटडेटेड” लगती है,

जिस आदमी को लगता हैं कि बिन्दी लगाना “कुल” हैं वोह खूद अपने सर पे बिन्दी लगा सकता हैं ना?

तरह तरह की लिपस्टिक अब होंठो पे सजती है !

लड़कियो/औरतो को खुद बिन्दी लगाना अगर अच्छा लगता हैं और जहाँ तक मेरा खयाल हैं तब तक लगभग सभी आदमियोंको भी ये अच्छा लगेगा कि उसकी बीवी या girlfriend लिपस्टिक लगाए. अगर तुम्हे खुद लिपस्टिक लगाना पसंद नही हैं तो तुम मत लगाओं… कभी कोइ लड़कीने ने तो कोइ कविता नही लिखी कि jeans आदमी पे सजता हैं या नही सजता हैं.

आँखों में काजल और मस्कारा लगाती हैं,

आँखों में काजल और मस्कारा तो छोटे बच्चे कोइ भी लगाते हैं. क्या वो सुन्दर नही लगते? और लड्की लगाए तो वोह आदर्श नही हैं… क्या बात हैं भाई… आदर्शत की आपकी व्याख्या भी क्या खुब हैं! लड़कियोको सुन्दर दिखने के लिए आन्खोंमे क्या लगाना चाहिए वोह भी आप ही बताओगे क्या? कभी कोइ लड्की या औरतने आपको ऐसा कहा की आप आँख पे चश्मा लगाओं या फिर गोगल्स लगाओं या ना लगाओं?

नकली पलकों से आँखो को खूब सजाती हैं !

उसकी पलके नकली हैं तो तुम अपने असली शरीर पे गर्व करो. और अच्छे कपड़े जो सचमे आपकी व्याख्या मे नकली चीज होनी चाहिए उसको छोडके फटे पूराने “असली” कपड़े पहेना करो.

मूख ऐसा रंग लेती हैं की दूर से चमकता है,

तो उससे आपके चेहरे की रोनक को तो कोइ नुक्सान नही हैं ना? आप बस इतना ख्याल रखो की रोज नहाओ और नाक और चेहरा ठीक से साफ किया करो… दुनिया पे बडा उपकार रहेगा.

पर्फ्यूम इतना तेज की मीलों से महकता है !

तो आपको क्या किसी का बास मारता शरीर ज्यादा आकर्षक लगता हैं? पर्फ्यूम कितना तेज होना चाहिए वोह भी आप ही बताओगे क्या?

जो नथ कभी नाक की शोभा बढाती थी,

आपको अभी भी लगता हैं क़ि नथ नाक की शोभा बढाती हैं तो आप उसे क्युं नही पहेनते?

आज होठ और जीभ पे लग नाक

ओके! आपको सिर्फ नाक मे गहना “कूल” लगता हैं… होठ और जीभ पे नही… आपको पसंद नही हैं तो मत लगाओं… आप औरो को या अपने आसपास क़ि औरतो को क्या लगाना चाहिए ये क्यु बताते हो?

बालों की “स्टाइल” जाने कैसी -
कैसी हो गयी,
वो बलखाती लंबी चोटी ना जाने
कहाँ खो गयी !

आप सर टकला रखते हो क्या? नही ना? आप अपनी हैर स्टाइल भी खुद ही चुने और दुसरोकी भी… आप अपनी बाल खुद की पसंद की हुइ “स्टाइल” मे रखना हैं और दुसरो की चोइस पर भी अंकुश करना हैं?

और परिधान तो ऐसे “डिज़ाइन” में आये हैं,

आप धोती-कुर्ता पहेनते हो क्या? आप खुद्के लिए खुदको अच्छा और आकर्षक दिखाने वाले कपड़े पहेनते हो ना?

कम से कम पहनना इन्हें खूब भाये है !

आप अपना सर, हाथ, पैर और पुरा शरीर ढक जाए ऐसे कपड़े पहेनते हो?

आज अंग प्रदर्शन
करना मजबूरी सी लगती है,

इसको पसंद बोलते हैं, मजबूरी नही. लड़के अपनी छाती और कसरत कीये हुए हाथ दिखाएं तो आपको ऐतराज़ नही होगा… सही ना? हाँ… लड़कियों को ऐसा नही करना चाहिए… लड़को के लिए सब सही हैं… ऐसा ना?

सोचती है इसी मे
इनकी खूबसूरती झलकती है !

आपके आसपास वाले ९९ प्रतिशत लड़के भी शायद यही सोचते हैं… कभी उससे पुछ्के देखिए…

पर आज भी जब कोई भारतीय परिधान
पहनती है,
सच बताऊं सभी की आँखे उस पे ही अटकत हैं !

मतलब आप लड़कियो को और औरतो को घूरते हैं? एक आदर्श पुरुष के नाते आपको उसपे आंखें अटकानी ही चाहिए… एक लड्की को सजने का हक नही हैं पर हर आदमी को उसपे आंखें अटकाने का हक हैं… कभी अपने आसपासकी लड़कियों से पुछा की आप जैसे पुरुषोकी नजर उसपे अटकती हैं तो उसे कैसा लगता हैं?

सादगी, भोलापन और शर्म ही भारतीय स्त्री की पहचान है,

और भारतीय पुरुषो की क्या पहचान हैं? आप भारतीय पुरुषो की पहचान सुधारने के लिए क्या कर रहे हैं?

मत त्यागो इन्हें यही हमारे देश का स्वाभिमान है !

हाँ! देश का स्वाभिमान लड़कियों को अंकुश मे रख्ने से और उसको बडे कपड़े पह्नाने मे ही हैं!

यदि अब भी हम सोच रहे है कि ये आने
वाली माताएं हमारी आने वाली पीढ़ी में
‘भगत सिंह या नेताजी’ पैदा करेंगी, तो हम
गलत सोच रहे हैं,

आप तो ज्योतिष भी लग रहे हो…

पश्चिम की नक़ल करते

करते हम पूरी तरह अंधे हो चुके है……

जरा अपनी कमरसे नीचे देखिए… आपने धोती नही पहेनी हैं… जो पहेना हैं वोह भी पश्चिम की नक़ल ही हैं…

जो अब लाइलाज बीमारी का रूप ले चुकी है……!!

बिमार तो वो पुरुष लगते हैं जो लड़कियो को संस्कृति के नाम पे अंकुश करने मे लगे हैं…

॥ ईश्वर इन्हे सद्बुद्धि दे ॥

और ये कविता लिखने वाले को भी!

जय हिन्द, जय भारत !!

आपने खुद देश के लिए क्या किया हैं? जय हिन्द, जय भारत बोलनेसे ही हम आदर्श हो जाते हैं क्या?

I don't know who wrote the original poem. It doesn't matter. The poem has got many Facebook 'like's too. I believe it would take decades, if not centuries, that such people become a minority among general male population.

My trip to rural Bihar - 2011

This post is regarding my experiences during my trip to a small village in Bihar in the first half of March this year. I went there to attend the marriage of a friend's brother. Of course, my purpose behind the trip was to observe the life there as closely as possible, too. And, I succeeded in doing so by staying in a village in the Madhubani district of Bihar for a week and in the city of Darbhanga for a day. 

Many things, people and customs there amused me. Having been born and brought up in semi-urban area (or rather rural), I have been quite aware of and accustomed to a village life. But, gradually I realised that there is a lot of difference between rural India that I've grown up in and rural Bihar.

It was the first time that I stayed in a village that had electricity for less than 8 hours a day (The people here refer to electricity as 'line'). Street lights don't exist here. They don't exist in Darbhanga either. Many people use Kerosene-based lanterns at night. And, it is almost dark everywhere at night. Unavailability of street lights makes the place really dark even if electricity is there. It is ugly to see that millions of people in thousands of villages still need to depend on lanterns. I found it particularly frightening here since there are a lot of young children roaming around, not many in the attention of elders. Many children here don't study beyond 7th class despite having schooling till 10 available in this village itself. Many of them start working sooner. Did I mention that many of them appear to be malnourished? By the way, 10th class is still known as Metric here.

In all the houses that I visited here, there was nothing called bathroom. People take bath under hand pumps. In fact, it is mostly the only source of water, the other one being river or lakes/check dams. There is not water distribution system present. There's no sewage system either. In fact, this is what I saw in the area of Darbhanga where I stayed for a day in spite of the fact that Darbhanga is a district level city.

All the roads in the village are made of bricks, interestingly. I came across such a thing for the first time. They are very dusty anyway.

Farms here are small, each of half an acre and less. The land seems to produce many things. I could find strawberries, mustard, wheat, onions, and vegetables here. Bamboo trees and mango trees are something you find everywhere here. Since bamboos are available in abundance here, they are used to build many things here. Many houses are built mainly with the use of bamboos: the walls, gate, windows, and everything else, needless to mention pillars too; and everything else you can imagine.

In farms, I found more women working than men. Men here are rather found doing something else, and often – mainly at night – drinking Taadi. There are many people who don't work much here. Lack of electricity and other basis necessities just makes things more difficult for someone who plans to start some small business on their own.

A few more things I noticed:
 
- Cycle is an important means of commuting. Many boys and men use it when they need to go to nearby villages and town which can be up to 10 or more kilometres far.
 
- In Baraat in marriage, there are only men who go to the bride's village. No women can be found in the bus carrying Baraatis.
 
- In occasions like marriage or mundan (baby's first hair removal ceremony) or at any other time when they need continuous electricity, they resort to hiring a diesel generator. The prevalent rent of hiring a generator for 24 hours is around Rs. 2,000.
 
- The use of Hindi is very prevalent here, of course.

In all, it was a trip that I know I'm going to remember for the rest of my life.

My favourite movie quotes - Part 3

And, here's the third post which contains some of my most favourite movie quotes. While most of them are general in nature and even those who haven't not seen those movies would easily understand them, a couple of them may be situation (in the movie) specific. And, now I guess it would take me rather long to make 4th post in this series as I've already mentioned about my favourite movie dialogues in these three parts. Anyway, enjoy them :-)


'Dahej-wahej to bade logonke chonchle hain.' - Traffic Signal

'Yeh bhi dharam ki aadme ek vyapar hi hain.' - Water

'Yeh kalyug hain. Yahan ek ka dard, dusre ka tamasha hain' - Kalyug

'Apne badan pe ghaav lage to saala jaanwar bhi rota hain. Insaan wahi hain jo dusre ka dard mehsoos karein.' - Halla Bol

['Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be.] To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. [See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.] - The Dark Knight

'Sachchai talwaar ki tarah hoti hain: nangi, tez aur beraham ' (Truth is like a sword - bare, sharp and merciless) - {unknown movie}

'Ab kaun jita?' - Ek Duje Ke Liye

['Ek baat batao, Shree!] Mard ka man kya aurat ke man se alag hota hain? Tan ki pyaas jo tumhare shareer ko jalaati hain, kya wo mere shareer ko kam jalaati hain?' (Is a man's mind different than a woman's mind? Does the appetite for sex that burns (teases) you, teases me less?) - Astitva


PS: Here are the links to the first and second post containing my favourite movie dialogues/quotes.

Portrayal of women in Indian media

Movies, or for that matter media in general, are often said to be the reflection of the society. Or at least that's what majority of people in India consciously or unconsciously tend to believe. While it's arguable whether the media truly reflect the society or not, there's no doubt that media have a big sociocultural influence on the society.

The way women are shown in movies these days is hardly different than those before a decade or a few. Women have been shown to consider being an ideal homemaker as the goal of their life. Leaving few exceptions, movies of recent times have hardly shown an 'ideal woman' doing anything but being a housewife. Even in those movies where a woman is shown to have more decision power in hand than her husband, the wife is almost always portrayed in bad light. And at the end of the movie, she is slapped by her husband. Her husband also tells her, 'I should have slapped much earlier'. The woman realizes her 'mistakes', repents of the same and the movie ends when everyone appears to be happy.

Before a few days while watching such a scene from a movie, one of my roommates actually said, 'This is the reason why a woman should not be given power. She doesn't know how to use it.'

As far as showing women in advertisements is concerned, things seem to have only worsened over time. In most of the advertisements of recent times too, a woman is either washing clothes and utensils, cooking, serving food to family members or trying to make her husband feel better who's at that time reading a newspaper or suffering from cold. A woman does all this even when she's headache or backache. These advertisements arguably encourage sexism. They reinforce the old belief that a woman is supposed to forgo her own comfort and keep on doing household chores without getting tired.

The same has remained true for the soap operas of earlier times and of recent times. While in many of these soaps, a woman has more decision power than their male counterparts, it's very difficult to come across so many such families in real life. Moreover, those women who wear modern clothes and appear very confident more often than not have bad intentions than their conservative and not-so-modern counterparts.

I recently come across this: 'The media should refrain from portraying women as commodities and sex objects.' The media still portray women as objects showing whom in certain way can catch the attraction of people. It's very amusing to see a woman in advertisements for products like cement.

Media not only portray women as mere commodities, they often unintentionally stereotype women. And this can be very dangerous, I believe.


Note: This post has been reblogged on Bell Bajao, on BKhush and on YouthKiAwaaz.

Feminism and 'Seven steps in the sky'

Before I put my views on different thoughts of feminism from the novel 'Seven Steps in the Sky' in my future post(s), I have tried to post here some of the points that are the gist of the novel. As I've already mentioned in one of my previous posts, the book revolves around the married life of a woman and a few of her female friends and relatives. She was born in a middle class family in a town and was married in an upper-middle class family.

Despite the novel being set in a middle class family of a town in 1980s, the questions it poses are (unfortunately) still unanswered.


- Why is it always the daughter-in-law's duty to please all others around her? Why don't the in-laws often think that a little innocent girl has left everything - her home, the love of parents and brothers and sisters, friends she's known since childhood, the free laughter and games? And hence they should really look after her, take care of her hopes and dreams! A daughter is always told to win the hearts of her husband's family by love and service. Why doesn't anyone normally tell the husband, the mother-in-law, the sister-in-law, to make the new bride's life easier, happier?

Men always do what they please. A woman, especially a new bride, must forget her own wishes, and then gradually that becomes a habit.

- Why is the daughter-in-law often expected never to get tired? Do they think that once a woman becomes a daughter-in-law, she is an unlimited source of energy?

- Why do women get married? Girls study and wait for a proposal, and then get married. Right from the first breath, they are told that marriage is the ultimate aim of their lives. If that aim is not achieved, or not accomplished in good time, the girl becomes depressed, and her life loses its direction. Every effort is made to regain that direction; standards are dropped, and what was once barely an acceptable prospect becomes acceptable and it feels like an end to all the trouble. She agrees to observe every kind of traditional restriction. She must cover her head all the time, she cannot go out to work, there must be a certain amount of jewellery in the dowry. Every condition is accepted so as not to lose the chance of marriage. If it's lost, the daughters become a burden to the parents. Why? What do the women get out of marriage?

Love? A roof? Protection?

Women want love but what they get is mostly desire in the garb of love, not love itself.

Women want a roof. Does the house become theirs? If a man is angry, he says - 'Leave my house right now.' If he is pleased, he says - 'You brighten my house.' It is always the man's house. The woman only brightens it. This is all that is expected of her - to look after the man's house.

Women want protection. For that protection is a solid wall erected around them. The wall has no windows to look out at the sky.

- A husband's death is a terrible blow to the wife. But, often it appears that a husband isn't greatly inconvenienced by the loss of his wife. That is because women's lives and emotions are valued less. And that is proved by the fact that a man can remarry immediately after his wife's death. Men often remarry quickly, even before their wives' pyres are cold. It isn't often possible for a widow to remarry, even for the sake of her children.

- If a widow's only son dies, it is considered to be the height of tragedy, but if a widow's only daughter marries and goes away, that's a great relief. Isn't it strange?

- Most women who marry, forget their identity and live in submission to the unwritten code of their in-law's house. Their talents are developed only within permitted limits. Everything else is sacrificed to the goddess named 'peace'.

Women have had a low status for centuries. They have been victims of injustice and violence, their intelligence and talents made subsidiary to beauty and appearance; they have been made prisoners under the guise of protection, and to make them accept all this without rebelling, they have been given false ideals. They have been told that, to be epitomes of endurance and sacrifice is the realization of their womanhood, that not maintaining a separate identity but submerging it into their husband's is their ultimate goal.

- Why is it set that the daughter-in-law can go to her parents' home only at a certain time during pregnancy? Why is the permission from in-laws needed to go to parents' home especially in the the initial months of marriage?

- All their life, children carry their father's name with theirs. There is no mention of mother in the family tree. Her mind and body were worn out with the endless chores of bringing them up, but she will die leaving no name, dissolve without leaving any trace. Why? If there were only daughters to a father, there would be no branches from his name, as if he had no children, as if he had never become a father. Why?

- Men can do most kinds of work, can survive somehow. But women have some biological limitations, and to make up for this, they must develop their talents, otherwise they cannot realize their full potential. So, shouldn't women be at least as much educated as men, or better?

- Why can't a daughter look after her parents if she is earning? If a daughter really wants to care for her parents, she should stay unmarried because if she does marry, she often loses the right to be of service to them. That obligation belongs to the son. After marriage, a son can take care of his parents, and ask his wife to do the same.

The same holds true when someone wants to pursue something which requires a lot of dedication. If a woman wants to be in a field which requires a lot of dedication to work, she is supposed to stay unmarried as she might not otherwise do justice to her 'household duties'. But, if a man wants to pursue such a field, he would rather be advised to get married so that his wife takes care of the household duties and he can pursue his interests/job better.

- When a husband's relations, close or distant, come to visit, stay for a meal, they all should be offered enthusiastic hospitality by the wife. Not many of the wife's relations come visiting. The husband will pay attention to them only if it pleases him, but if he is not in the mood, he will ignore them. He and his mother aren't often too pleased if the wife shows too much affection for her kin.

- Kitchen - is the woman's world. Their unhappiness stays hidden in the dark corners of the kitchen. Nobody sees it; the other rooms in the house are lighted and airy, but the kitchen, where women spend most of their time, is small and gloomy. Occasionally, the lights have to be switched on even in the day. There is no place to sit. There are fans in other rooms but often not in the kitchen, which is hot.

- A woman may work outside as hard as her husband, but it is always she who serves him the meals. Why don't we ever see the reverse?

- There are no words like 'barren man' or 'deserted husband' in the dictionary unlike their feminine equivalents. Is it because the right to 'desert' is a man's right only?

- Does wearing or not wearing bangles and applying or not applying a bindi makes a woman a worse or a better person? Does a society or a culture survive through its external rules, customs and conducts, or by its morality? By mere mechanical manifestations, or loyalty to the truth, compassion and selfless love?


Added: This post has been selected by BlogAdda as one of the top posts for 'Tangy Tuesday Picks' on Jan 19, 2010
Added on March 8, 2010: This post has been republished on BKhush here.
Added on December 27, 2011: This post has been selected as one of the posts for Tejaswee Rao Blogging Award 2011 by Indian Homemaker (IHM) - one of the most respected bloggers in India.

An eve-teasing incident in front of me

I sent the narration of this incident to Blank Noise yesterday. This incident happened more than three years back while I was traveling in a public transport city bus in Navi Mumbai. And, I'm posting the same here now:


I took a bus from my residence in Sector 29 of Vashi. I was standing and a guy was standing beside me and there were two girls standing on the opposite side of the aisle. The guy was around 25-26 years at that time I guess. And I was 22. Then, after a few stops, that guy slowly went on the other side, right between the two girls even when there was a lot of space on this side. No one except me apparently noticed this.

Slowly, he tried to hold one of the pipes in the bus to 'support himself' where he actually was trying to touch the hand of one of the girls. But, the girl soon became aware of this and she removed her hand from there. After some time, that guy brought his hand down and started trying to 'inadvertently' touch the other girl on and around her thighs. The girl was unaware of this.

But, I told him loudly, 'Why do you stand there in the narrow space between two girls when there is enough space over this side and I've been seeing you for quite some time that you're trying to touch this girl on her hand and this girl on thigh.' The two girls and a few passengers around heard them and the guy started defending himself. He in fact argued, 'Is ladkiya kuch nahi bol rahi hain to tu kyu bol raha hain. Maine kuch nahi kiya'*. I replied that they even aren't aware of it. I kept on making him feel ashamed. Eventually, he got down at the next bus-stop.


Note 1: You can originally find it here on the Blank Noise Guy blog.

Note 2: *Translation: 'If the girl isn't saying a thing, why are you? I didn't do anything.'

Hypocrisy, show-off and political correctness

When I was young, I used to believe that everyone is almost always honest.

Now, I wonder at the ease with which people can tell a lie. It's really easy for them to be dishonest to themselves, let alone to others. When everyone is looking at them, they show off themselves for what they really aren't. They don't have the courage to face the truth. When they talk with someone, they would cross all the limits of dishonesty as long as they believe that this dishonesty is never going to come out. They can do this because often they either have power or are in a group of a bunch of people and have a fanfare of stupids following them.

I have learnt a few lessons after having been active in a forum:

(1) You are supposed to be polite and considerate to everyone on the forum.

(2) If you are new to the forum, you don't matter.

(3) If you've been on the forum for a long time, you can unlearn the above lessons.

(3) If you happen to have views different than the moderators of the forum AND you aren't close to any of the moderators AND you want to get actively involved in something you believe to be inappropriate which doesn't directly concern you, you're 'dusre-ke-phate-me-taang-adda-raha-hain'ing. Hence, you can be thrown out like a fly out of a cup of tea.

(4) Moderators of the forum need not follow the first lesson mentioned above. Moderators can bend any rule anyway as long as it's in their interest. They moderate the forum after all. Hence, they can bend rules even just for fun and you're supposed to keep mum if this happens.

(5) Moderators are always right. Or, at least that's what you're supposed to believe.

(6) There are more number of sane and nice people on a forum than you think there are.

(7) Of these sane and nice people, very less are ready to stand by something they believe in.

(8) There comes a time when you've to choose between the two - (i) standing by what you believe in and (ii) enjoying an educative/informative/funny forum.

(9) Most people go for choice (ii) in situations similar to the one above.

(10) You can bend the normal rules of the forum too provided that you satisfy one of the two criteria: (i) You are a good contributor for the community; (ii) You happen to be close to one of the moderators and/or the owner of the forum.

(11) You can get a threat to be sued by the community owners if you stand by what you believe in. Instead, you are supposed to stand by what moderators believe in. Why? See lesson (5).


PS: I normally don't prefer to use sarcasm in normal speech or a blog post. This is my first attempt at sarcasm (?). Feedback would be highly appreciated.

Edited: In lesson (9) above, I mistakenly had typed choice (i) in place of choice (ii). The erratum has been corrected now.

My favourite movie quotes - Part 2

This is my second post containing my favourite dialogues/quotes from different Hindi and English movies. The link to the first post is here, and here is the link to my third post on the same.

['When we stop hunching, all excitement fizzes out. You don't want that to happen to us. Do you?'] - 'But, at what cost?' - Fire

'Pearl, har field me achchhe log hote hai bure log hote hai. Ek bura insaan mil gaya to kya sari industry kharab ho gayi? Aur yeh to ek individual ke upar depend karta hai ki woh compromise karke aage badhna chahta hai ya hard work se.' [- 'Baat achchhe aur boore ki nahi hai. It's business. Give, and take.'] (Translation: Pearl, in each field, there are good people and bad people. If one came across a bad one, does it mean that the whole industry is bad? And, it's up to an individual if they want to go ahead by compromising or by hard work' [- It's not about good and bad. It's business. Give, and take.']) - Page 3

'Yeh kitaab hain beete hue kal aur aanewale kalke beech faile hue sannateke baareme' (Translation: This book is about the silence prevailing between the past and the future) - Baghban

'To talk about the truth is easy but to live by it is not.' - Water

'Isn't it amazing? We're so bound by customs and rituals. Somebody just has to press my button, this button marked Tradition, and I start responding like a trained monkey.' - Fire

['Pata nahi journalism ko kya ho gaya hain?' ] - 'Aapko kisne kaha ki aap journalist hain? Page-3 ke columnme yahi likhti hain na aap ki kiski partyme kaun gaya... kiske saath gaya... kiske saath lauta... kisne kya khaya kya piya kya pehna... kya nahi pehna... Miss Madhvi Sharma, ise entertainment kehte hain, naa ki journalism' (Translation: ['I don't know what has happened to journalism.'] - 'Who told you that you are a journalist? This is what you write in the page 3 column, isn't it?... Who went in whose party, with whom who went... And with whom who returned... What one ate and drank what, what one wore and what one didn't wear. Miss Madhavi Sharma, this is called entertainment, not journalism.') - Page 3

'Love means never having to say you're sorry.' - Love Story

'You got a dream. You gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period.' - The Pursuit of Happyness

My favourite movie quotes

I have consolidated the list of my favourite quotes from different Hindi and English movies. Some of them are not-so-famous but are my favourite. The list is not comprehensive. I'll make another list and post it when I come across good quotes in future.


'Khubsoorat kuch nahi rehta. Sab kuch khokhla ho jaata hai.' (Translation: Nothing remains beautiful. Everything goes hollow.) - Guru

['Did she leave you or did you leave her?'] 'Love left us.' - Life in a Metro

'... I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.' - Notting Hill

'... Haan mujhe lajja aati hai...' (Translation: Yes I feel ashamed...) - Lajja

'I'm not a smart man... but I know what love is.' - Forrest Gump

'When it comes to love, we are all in the dark.' - Kinsey

'Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want? What do you want?' - The Notebook

'Babumoshai, humari mushkil maloom hai kya hai... hum aanewale gum ko kheech-taankar aajki khushipe la dete hai aur us khushime zahar ghol dete hai' (Translation: Do you know what our problem is... we drag tomorrow's worries into today's happiness and poison that happiness.) - Anand

['I am trying to find out why people hate this book so' - 'You told them their grandmothers and their daughters are masturbating, having premarital sex, sex with each other. What did you expect?'] 'Some respect.' - Kinsey

'You make me want to be a better man.' - As Good as it Gets

'I don't want to be 60 years old some day and seemingly happily married to some man that I know is my second choice.' - Dream for an Insomniac

'Get busy living, or get busy dying.' - The Shawshank Redemption

'Haan, paagal ho gai hoon main. Paagal bana diya hai mujhe aapke khokhle aadarshone, aapki jhoothi shan ne, aapki zidd ne' (Translation: Yes, I've gone mad. It's your hollow ideals, your fake reputation, your stubbornness that drives me crazy.) - Hero No. 1

'Everybody's sin is nobody's sin, and everybody's crime is no crime at all.' (sarcastically) - Kinsey

PS: Here are the links to sequels to this post: Part 2, Part 3

Social etiquette, or the lack of

There are times when certain kind of behavior in public from other people really pisses me off. I've observed them here in India (I've not been out of India till now anyway ;) ). Still, it's quite possible that some of the below mentioned gestures are true for some country or even universally. And, some of these are mainly 'practised' by people who are not very educated than by those who are rather sophisticated.


(1) Many people still haven't learnt to use words like 'excuse me' or 'sorry', or even 'thank you' for that matter. They won't even say 'sorry' when it's highly expected. Just smiling or even trying to show that you ignore it at the time when you've put your foot on another person's in a bus or train simply isn't enough. I've seen instances where people even don't feel the need of thanking a person who stands up from his seat and offers it to some lady or an older person. These are very fundamental things. You've got to be courteous at least when you're in a public place. Period.

(2) Most of us need to learn basic cellphone etiquette. This is one of the most prevalent and equally irritating gestures from people. I don't think I need to go into much detail here.

One equally irritating and highly unwelcome practice followed by quite a few people (mostly those who're not very 'sophisticated', again sometimes though, I've seen so-called 'sophisticated' people doing this) is playing songs aloud while traveling by a public transport vehicle. I believe I'm quite tolerant and easy-going. But, constant bombarding of music to my ears without my expressed will really pisses me off.

(3) This one is common among people of all class. You won't often see someone throwing wrappers of piper-mint or a pack of biscuits in a dustbin. Okay, accepted that in India, dustbins aren't seen at all the places. But, in such case, you can always carry those wrappers with you and throw in dustbin later. It's not that difficult. I do that.

(4) People are probably at their worst when it comes to using public transport like State Transport buses and the general unreserved coaches of trains. In the race of getting a seat (or sometimes, getting a better seat i.e. near window et al), people simply forget, or rather don't care that it's the people who want to get down should have the first turn. People quite often just rush in and that creates a mess.

I'd like to mention here that people in the local trains in Mumbai almost always follow the rule of allowing the commuters to alight first as far as traveling by local trains is concerned (unless you're slower than expected in getting down at the right time).

(5) I don't understand why some people unnecessarily blow horns even when they are in a serious traffic jam and/or when they know that it is not going to give them a chance to reach their destination earlier. Often the same people complain about rising level of noise pollution.

(6) I've seen this in Mumbai and I guess it mainly applies here only (or to a certain extent in other metros and smaller cities). Pedestrians don't use footpath even when they've an option to. Okay, sometimes the footpath is partially (or even fully) occupied by vendors and shop owners (which is again a big-time nuisance). But, often there is enough space on footpath that they can walk more comfortably than on the road. Why do they add to the traffic on the road?